Growing Through Failure

During my first year in college, I qualified for the United States Fencing Nationals after doing well in several local and regional competitions. With high hopes for my success, the school’s athletic department offered to help pay for the trip. During the weeks between the end of school and the competition, I worked out with visions of grandeur, finding my way to a couple of local practices, college and club, near my home. I distinctly remember dismissing my father’s concerns that I wasn’t training hard enough. Whether I didn’t practice well or was simply overmatched, I was knocked out in the tournament's first round. I had failed, and I was humiliated. Embarrassed. Convinced that I had let everyone down. 

Losing so early was painful, particularly when I hadn’t even considered the possibility of not making it out of the first round. Still, as much as I wanted to curl up into a fetal position and disappear, I knew I couldn’t. Apologies and regret punctuated my calls to the athletic director and my coach with promises to earn their trust again. And yet neither expected an apology, nor did they act as if I had violated any sacred trust. Instead, they consoled me, told me I would have another shot, and suggested that the experience was one I would never forget and shouldn’t. Teachers to their core, they dusted me off and challenged me to think about what I learned from the tournament.

Looking back, I grew enormously from that experience. Of course, failure or falling short still hurts, professionally and personally, but the sting doesn’t last as long when I can gather myself and reflect. At Poly, teachers are more crucial than ever in modeling and delivering this message. They understand the many facets of the learning process and how experience in one area can impact another—the resilience we learn in athletic competition or a debate tournament can carry us through a complex research project. Failure and setbacks are vital to life and opportunities to learn and grow. Our challenge is remembering that and creating a culture that does so too.

JWB