Family Calls

I saw a funny meme a few days ago questioning how the Brady Bunch knew about Zoom in the ’70s. If you are not old enough to remember the Brady Bunch and the rest of ABC’s riveting Friday night line-up—The Partridge Family, Room 222, The Odd Couple, Love American Style—you would not understand how visionary the opening credits indeed were. 

My family gathers Brady Bunch-style for a Zoom call at 4:30 p.m. on Sundays. And it’s always a trip. Initially, my dad and stepmom struggled to sign in, get their video working, or make sure their whole faces appear. We had a string of about five calls in a row when one of the grandchildren had to mute themselves and call my father to talk him past whatever gremlins had made signing-in different from the last time. The calls follow a similar pattern: how was your week? how are the numbers in your area? any new foods? what are you watching? No one in my family is particularly extroverted, so silences abound until one of us gets uncomfortable enough to move onto the next question. Despite the familiar script, these calls have brought us closer and softened some of the edges that seeing each other too infrequently had raised.

A couple of things dawned on me a few weeks ago about these calls. For one, just seeing my kids is enough. I am not sure they understand that, and their eyes would roll right out of their heads if I told them so, but it is true. And I’ve discovered my father’s ruse. The ‘technology problems’ requiring assistance from one of his grandchildren is his way of getting time alone with them. Offline, they problem-solve together, and he hears the patience in their voices that mine doesn’t always reflect when his mute button is still on. Having a ‘common enemy’ also probably helps while they share a private moment. 

I wonder whether a particular phase number, risk level, or vaccine will bring an end to our family calls. I hope not. Perhaps they will be less frequent, but the routine has been calming in its way, and getting together without a reason or a plan has helped us see each other in ways we had not before. 

Be well

John
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