Our future selves

In the novel Equal Affections that I read more than 25 years ago, David Leavitt tells the story of Danny, who dreams as a young boy of an encounter with a man “who is at once a stranger and oddly, intimately familiar to him. "I’m you," the stranger says. "I'm who you're going to become. And I've come to tell you — to reassure you — you're going to be fine, just fine.” Meeting his future self, Danny is able to understand that despite the loneliness he feels now, he will find love, and life will get better.

A couple of weeks ago, a group of our LGBTQ students shared with the faculty and staff some of their experiences at Poly. They spoke of friendships discovered and the pain of being ostracized and feared by classmates because of their sexual orientation. They reflected on the power of adult role models on campus and the institutional assumptions that raised questions about whether they truly belonged. They demonstrated the burden of the “other,” who, regardless of age, is expected to teach and to comfort the very same people who consciously or unconsciously dismiss their humanity. Their comments were unsettling, humbling, and, at the same time, inspiring. In some ways, the panel could have just as powerfully spoken to the experience of being a person of color, a student on financial aid, a member of a religious minority. We would be mistaken to assume that the diversity of our community ensures that societal and institutional tropes are easily avoided.

As the conversation unfolded, we were confronted by experiences and questions that forced us to reconsider how we lead and how we teach. The issues we encountered were real, painfully so, and there was no manufactured outrage or insincere howls to distract us. Like the boy in Leavitt’s book, every member of our community deserves to look to the future with optimism and hope. And we must also recognize that patience does not heal the pain and take responsibility for the powerful role we play in defining Poly for ourselves and for others.

JWB
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