Being With Each Other

“Daddy, you’re snoring!” was something I heard more often than I would like to admit when I was supposed to be reading my children’s favorite bedtime stories. I would try my hardest to stay focussed, but the comfort of snuggling with them was just too much. I can feel myself drifting, like it was yesterday, my eyes closing for longer and longer periods. Emma or Mason would generously fill in the words that I was sliding past with greater frequency. They were gentle souls—their scolding only half-hearted—as they gathered fodder for stories to be shared well into their adolescence. Every parent has those moments when the fatigue of the day washes over our best intentions to be present. 

Last week during my office hours, I invited faculty members with young children to share their experiences from the past six months. They spoke about the intricate choreography of teaching their students and making sure their own children were also learning. Not easy. There was no self-pity; instead, I heard a resolve to figure it out that I found inspiring and humbling. They shared funny stories of their kids’ appearing in their ‘classrooms’ and heroic tales of spouses or other family members running interference. Colleagues, too, played an essential role in this new world we all inhabit. The generous give-and-take of roles and responsibilities that characterize great teams was ever-present—the strong and kind hands of the community holding them close. I saw fatigue, too, in their eyes. How much longer? Is it going to be OK? Am I present enough for my children and for my students? 

The lessons of our current situation are just beginning to be written, so we did not come to any conclusions, though it was good to be together. Resolve, tenacity, independence, innovation will all find their way into the history of these times. Isolation, fear, loss, and anxiousness will, too. I learned early on that there was not much about being a good head of school that made me a better parent, but there was plenty about being a good parent that made me a better head of school. So perhaps those evenings drifting off were not all bad. They had me right where they wanted me to be, next to them.

JWB

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